How many times have we seen and have been with couples that don’t seem like a match? Many times we can hear people gossiping and judging couples they come across because they feel like the couples look odd together, they don’t look good together… that they are not a match simply because of the difference in their physical features that doesn’t seem to complement one another to make them look any better together. In most cases people immediately conclude that they may be together for convenience because probably either party benefits from the relationship. It is quite a mean thought but that is how some minds work. They judge people before they know them despite the known metaphorical phrase that goes, “do not judge a book by its cover”.
Here are the most common comments on some couples that are considered odd together: When they see couples whose age gap is really obvious, some think that the older one is after the vigor of youth that a younger partner can offer; that probably the older one just wants to feel young and brag to friends, family and other people that he/she still has the charm and looks that can be a catch to younger generations hence making them feel that they never get older and out of style. Other thoughts could be that the older party needs companionship at their age and feels that it will benefit them more if they are with someone young who is capable of taking care of them better. While on the other hand, with the younger party the most common and typical thoughts of some people is that probably the younger one is just after of the financial security that the older partner may be able to provide, that the younger party is only using the older partner as a means to gain, achieve and attain their worldly material desires and other personal interests. These speculations and allegations mentioned above by people who can’t help but criticize others are likely thought on other odd couples too, that maybe one of the individuals in the relationship or both of them are benefiting from the relationship for their own personal interests and when time comes that they can no longer get what they were after with their partners in the relationship they will just leave and find another. What has not been considered here is the possibility that either one or all of the parties concerned may have true and pure intentions in their heart. Have you heard of the term “love is blind”? – Where love sees no boundaries; when love overpowers the mind. It is possible that they are just in love and love is reason enough for two different individuals to stay with each other because of the joy they feel when they are together. Those who are in love can understand this mystery of love. So it may be unfair to prejudge people superficially simply because it seems to appear as what their minds perceive. It is always best to know the people well before making any comment because a person’s dignity, integrity and credibility takes time to build and when tainted with malicious gossip can be very damaging – it will be difficult and will necessitate a longer period of time to restore. The damage done to a person’s name and dignity can possibly last a lifetime. So let’s hope that more people will make the following considerations before making any comments and criticisms that can be detrimental to a person’s dignity. Malicious gossip itself is considered a crime committed against another person unless proven true which means that they are just reaping the results of their actions. Know that we are responsible for our actions and decisions. So it is assumed that you are aware as much as prepared for the outcome of whatever decisions and actions you opt to take.
Though the feelings of some who are in an unconventional relationship prove to be pure and true nevertheless, it is sad that there are cases where allegations and speculations about the true intentions of either party in some relationships tend to be true as well. To begin with, there won’t be such thoughts or ideas if it didn’t occur to any one before. Most people have the tendency to retain more hurtful and offensive experiences of others in their thoughts than good ones to be able to build their defenses because no one would like to experience pain unless you have a perversion such as that of a masochist who finds pleasure from the pain inflicted. However, other than using the not good experience of others as a personal warning or caution so as not to experience the same, some use it as a basis to malign others which is really sad.
Each one of us has our own personal plans for ourselves and all our plans are for the betterment of our lives with a bright and abundant future. However, our means of achieving our goals and objectives in life differs from one another depending on our way of thinking and attitudes. There are those who work their way up to gain further experience to promote them and achieve the position they aspire to; others have worked with blood, sweat and tears to achieve what they have become; while others prefer to get what they want by all means even if it takes them to do bad things to another person. The selfish desires of an individual with a twisted attitude and way of thinking are the ones that bring madness and mess to the lives of others and every one around them affected by their ambitions because these kinds of individuals are too selfish and self-centered to consider the feelings and well-being of others. To those who want to have it all the easy way, they steal. To steal here is not just to grab or take what they want just like a robber stealing from any convenient store or from another person where the crime committed is too obvious to use against the culprit in a court of law. In the context of this article stealing here is by means of what I would refer as “relationships for convenience”. It is not necessarily because of their strong love for each other that they are together but because of their personal reasons that they find necessary for them to be and stay in the relationship. In this manner it is the return they get out of being in the relationship that counts and not their strong feelings of love for one another. It is considered stealing because you take something from a person by way of deception or misrepresentation of what is true in your heart; you obtain what your heart truly desires surreptitiously.
It is upsetting to know that there are people with the stomach to think and do such a thing. Perhaps in their minds they are just making use of what they have to satisfy their desires and worldly ambitions because to them what is it worth to have what they have if they won’t use it for their personal gain? Why is it there on them if it is not for them to make use? Perhaps to them what they have is for them to profit from as they seem to be one of the lucky few who were blessed with possessions of qualities that can be influential and controlling such as that of beauty and wealth which are two of the most frequent reasons for “relationships for convenience”. It is also found out that there are those who stay in a relationship with someone that they don’t really feel strongly about because of the services they can enjoy from their partner – other than the sexual aspect of course, what is meant here is the part where they are being served well like a king or a queen. As long as they stay in the relationship they enjoy a good quality service of a personal assistant that is like of a literal servant, a maid, a cook, etc. for free.
They say that life is sometimes not fair because others seem to have been given more of the pleasing things in the world while others need to struggle for them to achieve what some have been given or can just have easily. Be reminded of a line in the movie Spiderman, “with great power comes great responsibility”. So for every gift we receive or possess comes responsibilities for us to fulfill. If for others they find that their gifts are to please others by way they feel would benefit them in return, that is their prerogative. Anyway, they are responsible for their actions and decisions when results come.
As for those who are witnessing behaviors that may be unfavorable and unpleasant for the eyes to see, for the ears to hear and for the minds to know… learn from it and do what you think and feel is best. Each one of us is gifted with intelligence and freewill to carry out our rights and duties in this world and to others.
- Lizzy Grace E. Johnson
LGJ, May 2011
A person’s dignity, integrity and credibility
takes time to build and when tainted with
malicious gossips can be damaging.
It will be difficult and will necessitate
longer period of time to restore.
Malicious gossips itself is considerably
a crime committed to another person
unless proven true which means that
they are just reaping the results
of their actions.